I got back from Squam yesterday, and it has been a whirlwind of emotions. I expected to be sitting down today and writing about how wonderful Squam was - which it was. But this afternoon, we lost a beloved family member.
Fourteen years ago, after going to the movies with friends, I stepped out into the parking lot and found a tiny kitten. She was white with markings on her head and tail, super skittish, and covered in motor oil. We looked at each other, and I knew she would be coming home with me. I spent the next hour slowly making my way closer to her as she ran under several cars. Eventually she relaxed, and I quickly picked her up.
That night, we washed her off in the laundry sink, and introduced her to the other animals in our home. I told my mom we would find another home for her, but I knew that was a lie. My mom named her Baby. I called her Babushka. We saw her grow up into a healthy lady, deliver two litters, and become a crotchety old woman. Yesterday, her kidneys started failing, and today she closed her eyes for the last time.
I will tell you about Squam later. I am glad I had a great healing experience at Squam before coming home to this loss. But for tonight, I'm going to allow myself the tears. I love you, Babushka.
I'm so sorry you lost a love. I'm so glad you found her and loved her and she loved you. <3
ReplyDeleteThanks Kari. I am trying to focus on the time we had together rather than the loss.
DeleteI am so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteOh Ana, ♥ I am so sorry to hear that you lost your kitty :( I know they say 14 years was a healthy long life, blah blah, but it is soooo hard to keep thinking that when they leave our lives forever. Hugs ♥♥♥♥ My heart aches hearing this, as I had a troubling cat story coming back from Squam as well, which luckily turned out ok in the end: Sunday night after coming home, my one cat went out and didn't make her way back in, even though I waited up for her until 2 am (yeah that was great for having a productive day on Monday) I looked everywhere for her, calling her name, up and down the neighborhood and in the fields behind my house, put flyers on mailboxes, the works. My neighbors were trying to kindly tell me that there was fox around that they had seen, when she wasn't back by Tuesday :( Luckily I did find her thanks to a family up the block, she had taken up residency under their shed, I guess she got lost and could not find her way back after we had torrential rains for two days straight.
ReplyDeleteAgain my heart goes out to you, and I hope the bitter sweet memories will slowly get replaced by peace, and the good memories and the love your little kitty and you shared.
Simone
Simone, thanks so much for your super thoughtful comment. I am definitely trying to remember the good times, and that I did my best to give her a good home after rescuing her. I'm glad your kitty was safe!
DeleteOhhhh Ana. I am heartbroken for you. so so so sad. xo,e
ReplyDeleteThank you. I'm so glad I had the fortifying awesomeness of Squam before this happened.
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