Knitting On

This is one of those moments in blogging where I ask myself, how do I talk about something intensely personal and difficult in a blog that shows my life through a very specific lens of delightful moments and creativity? If there is such a thing as a right way, I don't know what it is.

Last weekend was very difficult. Not only because Nate and I were horribly sick and spent Friday hospitalized, but especially because we lost a very dear friend on Saturday morning. After a short, brutal fight with Leukemia, our friend has moved on, leaving a hole in our lives, and our hearts full of bittersweet memories. I considered him part of my family, and I know he will live on in our shared memories and stories.

At times like this, I cannot help but wonder what mechanisms people use to cope with grief. Many knitters seem to fall back on the well-know, and probably overused, quote by Elizabeth Zimmerman: "Knit on with confidence and hope, through all crises." And so I did.

On Thursday, in the last hours before getting sick, I made my last trip to Windsor Button. For those unfamiliar, Windsor Button started as a notions store 75 years ago, and eventually grew into one of the larger, more varied yarn stores in the Boston metro area. Their closing sale has been running for a couple of weeks at this point, and the store was visibly picked through, full of sadness and leftovers. I came away with some Malabrigo sock yarn, and 5 wooden buttons for this baby cardigan. This cardigan carries the majority of my grief, knitted in daze over the span of a week. The dark green Malabrigo yarn is in the process of becoming socks for Nate. And so here I am, knitting on.

Cardigan pattern: Gramps by Tin Can Knits
Yarn: Destash nylon/acrylic blend, worsted weight

Edited to add: I should perhaps clarify the cardigan is a surprise for my baby brother. My dad doesn't read blogs, so I can post spoilers!